


The Day Everything Ended - 'Cause I'm a Coward

by WizardDemigod



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 14:58:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1514666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizardDemigod/pseuds/WizardDemigod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone thinks I have no feelings, but the truth is that I have too many. Another truth about me is that I am a coward</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day Everything Ended - 'Cause I'm a Coward

* * *

 It didn't stop raining, it seemed that the whole world was against me. After those two damned wars and my time on Tartarus I couldn't be more fucked up. I couldn't handle it anymore, phisically I had approximately fifteen years and I already drank, almost every night I was left unconcious because of my alcoholism. With time I recovered my infancy memories, which only served to depress me even more.

I started smoking...

Hazel begged me to quit it. I saw how much it hurt her to see me like this, so I started doing lots of excersice, my body looked way better. My little plan deceived them, everyone fell into my trap. An adiction led to another one; I never ran out of money (well of course, my dad is the god of wealth!), I always got the drugs when I wanted.

When I reached my supposed seventeen, a motive of shame, I couldn't go on with my lies and while I was supervising the Fields of Punishment I started cutting myself. It felt so good, the presence of a pain, a pain that wasn't the one I carried within my soul.

 I got away again, without warning just like last time. My life was monotonous, I spent all my time in the Underworld or in Los Angeles killing monsters without mercy.

There was this special memory, the one that made remember the face of who hurt me so much in the past. That day in Croatia, the fucking day that someone found out about my dirty little secret, about my feelings... Those sea-green eyes that seemed so happy, for me they were the most beautiful pair of eyes ever, but the price of remembering them was too high.

 The day when I became legal, when I turned twenty-one I wanted to say **STOP** so I shadow-travelled to that graveyard I loved so much in New Orleans without knowing that I was being watched. I kept walking until I reached a place with almost no graves where I knew no mortal would bother me.

I took out of my aviator jacket a very old photo and I looked to a beautiful woman, who was dressed stylishly, sitting on a fancy sofa with a smilling little boy on her lap. Next to them was a girl who looked like the woman on the photo that was being hugged by a very intimidating man. The man was my father, the one with shine in his eyes that it could be discribed as the one of a mad man or a genious.

I couldn't contain my tears. I opened up my beer and gave it a drink. This was the day everything, my torment would be over.

I rolled up my sleeve. I took my razor out and I perform a really deep cut on my artery. I did the same with my other arm. I was draining off, my blood slipped fastly by my skin and it started gathering around me on the floor.

 For years I have been waiting to die, I was ready to receive death.

Far away I heard sobs, I supposed that they were from some funeral. It was strange, the sobs seemed to come near me. 

I opened up my eyes, I didn't have much time left. By my side were Hazel, Frank, Jason, Piper, Percy, Annabeth even Leo. I was surprised.

"Why Nico?!" my sister asked me. She wasn't mad, she was sad, confused and hurt.

And with my last breath, my last effort I answered:

"I'm sorry... 'Cause I'm a coward."

* * *

**The End**

 

 


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